The long-reaching effects of childhood abuse and trauma.

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If, as a child, you were abused or exposed to abuse, then you've probably learned to protect yourself with coping mechanisms like denial, withdrawal, approval-seeking, distancing yourself emotionally, switching off your feelings, acting out with substances or other additive behaviors, or blaming yourself. Learning to use these coping mechanisms during childhood was probably necessary and very functional. We call these "survival skills." You literally needed these coping skills to simply survive. But over time, these skills are no longer necessary and go on to have long-term consequences in your adult lives, which can include:

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• Low self-esteem or self-hatred

• Feelings that you are somehow contaminated or unworthy

• Depression

• Guilt, shame and blame – guilt or shame because you feel you made no direct attempt to stop the abuse or because you experienced physical pleasure from it

• Sleep disturbances / disorders – trouble sleeping because of the trauma and anxiety

• Lack of trust for anyone – you feel betrayed by the very people you were dependent on those who were supposed to care for you, who insisted they loved you even while abusing you; learning to trust can be extremely difficult under these circumstances

• Becoming an adult victim of abuse – as an adult you may find yourself in an abusive or dangerous relationships

• Dissociation – You may go through a process where the mind distances itself from the experience because it is too much for your psyche to process at the time. This loss of connection with thoughts, memories, feelings, actions or sense of identity, is a coping mechanism and may affect aspects of your cognitive functioning

• Sexuality / Intimacy issues – You may difficulty engaging in sexual relationships, which may bring about feelings of fright, frustration, or being ashamed