INFIDELITY COUNSELING IN
SAN JOSE, CA

Woman questions marriage after infidelity

When infidelity enters a relationship, everything shifts. The person you trusted most has become the source of your pain — or you're the one carrying guilt and trying to understand your own behavior.

Either way, it's one of the hardest things a person can face, and most people find they can't work through it alone.

I'm a licensed psychotherapist and certified sex addiction counselor with 30 years of experience working with individuals and couples dealing with infidelity and affair recovery.

My practice is telehealth-only, which means I work with clients throughout California — including the South Bay and Silicon Valley — from wherever you are.

What brings people to infidelity counseling

People come to me from very different starting points. Some arrive in crisis — the affair just came to light and they have no idea what to do next. Others have known for a while but have been trying to handle it on their own, and it's not getting better. Some want to save the relationship. Others aren't sure they do. Some come as a couple. Many come alone.

Whatever brought you here, infidelity counseling gives you a structured place to slow down, process what happened, and make decisions with more clarity than you'd have otherwise.

I work with:

Betrayed partners sorting through shock, grief, and anger
People who had an affair and are trying to understand why — and whether it's part of a larger pattern
Couples working to rebuild trust after infidelity
Situations where infidelity overlaps with sex addiction or compulsive sexual behavior

The sex addiction question

One thing that sets my practice apart: as both a licensed therapist and a certified sex addiction counselor, I can assess whether repeated infidelity is part of a compulsive pattern rather than a one-time breach. This matters because the treatment looks different. If sex addiction is a factor, standard infidelity counseling won't be enough — and knowing that early saves a lot of wasted effort.

If you're in San Jose and ready to talk, I invite you to call me at 650-646-4220. I'm always willing to spend a few minutes on the phone first to see if I'm a good fit for what you're dealing with.

For more information, visit my Infidelity Counseling page. Feel free to contact me with any questions.

How do I know if counseling will actually help?

The honest answer is that it depends on what you're willing to do with it. Counseling works when people show up ready to be honest — with me and with themselves. If you're in a place where you can do that, even if you're angry or devastated or confused, counseling can help you get to a clearer place faster than you'd get there on your own.

Does my partner have to come too?

No. Individual infidelity counseling is its own valid form of treatment. Many of my clients work with me one-on-one — to process the betrayal, to stop the obsessive thinking, to figure out what they want from the relationship. If your partner eventually joins, great. If not, you can still do meaningful work.

What if I'm the one who had the affair?

That's a common starting point and a legitimate one. People who've been unfaithful often carry a significant amount of shame, confusion, and sometimes a frightening sense that they don't fully understand their own behavior. Individual counseling can help you understand what happened, take responsibility in a constructive way, and figure out what you want to do next.

Could this be about sex addiction?

It's worth asking the question. When infidelity involves repeated behavior, a pattern the person genuinely wants to stop but can't, or secrecy that feels compulsive, sex addiction may be a factor. I can help assess that and adjust the approach accordingly.

Infidelty Blog